Anger is the meaning we attach to a protective reaction that happens beyond our control. It’s a response to something that our nervous system perceives as unfair and threatening.
Anger is often the first emotion to surface in the early stages of a healing journey. It can lead to confusion, intense feelings of shame and guilt, and the urgency to manage it with cognition and behavioral control.
Anger is a way of protecting ourselves from feeling overwhelming pain and sadness. We learn this at an early age. At the time, we felt like it wasn’t safe to show these emotions. We learn to bottle the up and store them in the subconscious brain. They are connected to specific bodily sensations that have been shut down and resurface as anger, a more acceptable emotion that makes us feel less vulnerable.
This is why anger can be triggered by things that make no sense. When we are healing, it’s important to create space to process our anger and understand the emotions it is trying to protect us from.
This exploration will lead us to something that we need to accept and let go of, both physically and emotionally. It’s what’s causing us to stay stuck in the anger and shame cycle.
The next time you feel angry and overwhelmed
· Switch to a kind, compassionate voice and speak to the wounded child inside.
· Allow the sadness and pain to be let out.
· Feel all of your body sensations (this may be hard for some)
· Let the message your anger is telling you to be heard
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